What if this happen?

Im scared, what if this really happen?
i know i shouldn't think it now..i should be positive..but i just dunno how..
if that really happen, im gonna take good care of mama...accompany mama..i won let her alone facing this..yes..thats wad shud i do..but for now..i cant show worry face to her..it'l only worsen her..yes..thats it..i must be strong n tough~!!!!!!!!!

sad...T_T

today is Christmas eve and tmr is Christmas...mummy is going to HK tonight to have fun..really wish and sincerely hope she enjoy her trip..its been a long long long time for her to travel...

jie jie is going to have a date with her boy friend tonight...seeing her plan her attire happily yesterday night...wondering which clothes suit her most...im so jealous..i hope i can have her feeling oso...but i know its impossible...

its impossible for me to have a peace and warm christmas eve with him...its impossible for us to celebrate christmas every year...its impossible for him to hang out with me without telling any lie to his family..its impossible we can be like other couples..meet whenever we wish....

why izzit so impossible for me to have a no-lie-telling relationship.....why his family never accept our relationship....

Happy Kuantan Journey...

Just back from Kuantan--my hometown with dear dear..we had a 4 days happy journey there..really thanks for giving me such a memorable times...i know we spend less time to be jz ourselves compare to last trip..but im happy to see that my family members all treated u so good...we being together just like a family..ee fun and ee sun love u so much made me jealous oh..!!!
back to kl..honestly im so uneasy...yesterday night was so quiet and bored....dun have the noise from the kids...dun have aunt and uncle and popo to keep talking to us..dun have u by my side...but i understand that we should be here by now...we had already extend our trip .. really thanks for doing that...
im gonna back to ukm soon lor...hmmm hope my happy life won disappear once i get back to ukm ba...but now im worry abt money oh..i wish to help mama for her travelling pocket money..but can i use the ptptn money since that i need to return it back by the time i get my jpa money??whn my jpa money will comes.........>.<

最近。。。

就读ukm整整一个月了，宝贝也离开我一个月了，四个星期没见过你，真的很不习惯。每晚都很想哭，但是知道这样很不争气，所以都尝试把眼泪吞回去。你决定今年都不回来了，说实在的，我很不开心。并不是说我曾经以为你那么快就会回来。只是，现在的我才发现，原来你远在澳洲的事实，我并没有完全接受。。。

忙碌的一个月，令我不再想那么多，你的努力，让我每天都能听到你的声音，每天都能通过电脑荧幕看见你，令我不以为你其实离我那么远。笨笨的我还一直以为，不久后，熬过了一段时间后，总会见到你。。。

我错了！！在未来的一年内，我都不会看见你！！宝贝，真的很对不起，我知道我不会掩饰我的不开心，也知道我的不开心也令你不开心，真的很对不起。。但是，我真得开心不起来，不要必问我为什么好吗？你知道答案的，也知道我们根本改变不了什么，不争气的我，就是这么不开心。。。。。

你问我，会等你回来吗。我的答案是，我会的，但实践中能改变些什么，未来的事，真的不是我说了算，我们，都不能给对方100巴仙的保证。。。。。。。。。。。

陈洁倩…

仔细想想…我这个人，好像从小到大都蛮幸福的。从小在父母的宠爱下，刁蛮，任性，撒娇样样都不缺…读书成绩也不赖…决对不属于可爱形的…但也不讨人厌…中学时期，家里发生了事故，一个人住在关丹婆婆家，生活中总围绕着叔叔，姑姑，婆婆和表弟妹们。他们都对我疼爱有加，我完全没有寄人篱下的感觉…中学念完了，到Kl和妈妈一起住。妈妈不但把我当小朋友疼爱，连宝贝也对我照顾有加，想去哪里，约了谁，宝贝都会把我带到目的地。已经习惯于你们给我的爱。。。。
现在，宝贝即将出国留学，而我也要进大学了。。但，，我准备长大，独自一人面对生活了吗？？？？

我要努力变成大海！！

大海。。。是鲸鱼的栖息地。。
鲸鱼生活在大海里，是多么的自由自在，多么的舒适。大海给予鲸鱼的宽容与爱，是鲸鱼活下去的最基本条件。
**当了两年的鲸鱼，我活在你的爱与宽容里，让我好快乐。我可以时而野蛮人性，时而耍赖撒娇，你都照单全收。。好像大海一样，包容我的喜与悲，对与错，优与缺。。。活在有你的世界里，我十分安心，因为大海一直都在，不会离开。。。。

现在，使交换角色的时候了，鲸鱼换你做，大海让我来！往后的日子里，我会努力让自己的心灵变大，大到能够容纳一条鲸鱼，大到能让鲸鱼自由自在地遨游，无忧无虑地追寻你的梦想，你的大海一直都会在。。。。

人体七十巴仙由水分组成，但随着成长历程所经历的人与事，水分会渐渐蒸发，大海的水量变成了池塘，清澈的水质也会变得浑浊。。。我要把我的池塘变大海，一个能够容纳一条巨大鲸鱼的大海！！

happy...=)

im so happy and enjoy these days oh..
cos baby fun came and stayed at my home oh!!
although early in da morning hv 2 fetch him n popo to relative house..(and nid dear dear fetch me to office evy morning bcoz it will be vry rush for mama..=p)

wednesday v bring him to the mines...
dear dear accompany him to sit those toy car and drove arnd the ground floor of the mines...haha kelian my dear...
dn v had dinner at san francissco pizza...
lastly v went COBAY...imagine gt 6 adults pui a 3 yrsz old children to play at a game shop...haha...bt all of us really enjoy it...

met him let me think of those days in kuantan...
its so free nd happy...and he...still da same...
like 2 bully me!!!!
bt im glad at least he din forget me................kekexxx...=)